Monday, June 9, 2014

When Weekends Attack...or...Who's in Charge Here?


This weekend was a mixture of utter dismay and utter joy...
How is that even possible?
Well, easy.
Here's the cliff notes:
I had my weekend planned perfectly.
My daughter's bridal shower was on Saturday.
An exciting, fun event!
All was going as planned except...
My husband had very minor knee surgery last week...
And suffered a major and rare complication of minor surgery...
I ran him to the emergency room Friday night at 9:30pm.
Shortness of breath.
His lungs felt like a 90-year-old, chain-smoking, 500 pound man with a full grown male bull elephant lounging on his chest...yeah, that's pretty accurate...
So we get to the ER at 9:30pm...
We were finally seen by a doc at 4:30am...
No, I did not type that wrong.
7 (seven) hours later.
I will admit that I had a mini-meltdown at hour 5.
Not a proud moment.
I apologized to the nurse who witnessed and bore the brunt of it...
She was more than gracious.
I continued to weep back in the waiting room next to the guy sprawled out, spread eagle in a wheelchair who smelled of alcohol (his 3 friends had dropped him off)...
I won't even get into the other crazy things I witnessed prior to hour 5 and the mini-meltdown...(perhaps in another post)
So at 4:30am, my husband's name was called and I literally jumped up, threw my arms toward heaven and exclaimed (loudly) "Hallelujah!"
I meant it.
Alex was a little embarrassed but too sick to say anything...(he mentioned his embarrassment to my daughter later)
At 6am, it was determined that he had blood clots in his lungs (a total of 13) and would be staying in the hospital.
I was oddly relieved.
Someone else could be responsible for a while.
I was spent.
and...
I was utterly conflicted.
The conflict arose from the fact that in 7 hours the bridal shower would begin...
There was still much to do.
And only 7 hours to do it!
How would I care for my husband, run the necessary errands, finish the last minute decorating and details, and be a happy, chipper mother-of-the-bride after a crazy, sleepless night in the ER and a scary diagnosis?
I prayed...
I prayed for my husband's health, for strength, for relief from the guilt I was feeling for needing to leave him...I prayed that the shower would be fun and happy, without a damper of upset from the night's events...and then...
I left the hospital.
My younger daughter took care of most of the tasks left to do so I could get a good hour of sleep...yes, just one.
We got everything done in time for the shower.
And it was good...so good...
A loving celebration of bridal anticipation...
I felt blessed....and tired...but mostly blessed...
My husband will be fine...
My daughter felt the love...
The Lord was there...carrying me...carrying my husband...carrying my girls...my far-away boy...
Family pulled together...
Filling in where the gaps gaped...
And it was done.
The weekend was over.
We survived.
A new week begins and I don't know what will come...
But one thing I do know is that I'm not in control.
God is.
In an instant, my plans could come crashing down and then what?
I will trust.
I will have faith that all will come together as it should...
Maybe not as I THINK it should...
Not as I PLANNED it to go...
But in such a way that God will get the glory...
And He does.
Because even though my husband sits in a hospital bed,
I have joy in my heart...
That's different than happiness...
It's assurance that when things fall apart,
The God of the Universe cares about the little details...
Like a bridal shower...
He cares about what I care about and He cares about me...
and my husband...
and my kids...
and you.

3 comments:

Shelly said...

WOW, OH WOW. That was scary and amazing all at once. YAY YOU for getting through all of that! HUGS!

Pam said...

That is what faith is all about. God gave you the patience and strength to get through some very difficult moments. That was very scary with Alex and God is definitely on your side. I miss seeing you but it's nice keeping up with you on your blog. Take care :)

Anonymous said...

Firstly, so glad that your husband is on the mend! Your faith pulled you through and God will always surround you with his love...Sending you comforting hugs and please keep us posted on your husbands' outcome. joAnne