Saying "I do" again...

My sister and her husband renewed their vows today.
They ran off to Hawaii and got married 15 years ago.
She regretted not having a traditional wedding ceremony.
The whole she-bang.
All the bells and whistles.
The dress, the cake, the walk down the aisle, the gathering of friends and family...
So today they did it.
The whole she-bang.
The dress, the cake, the walk down the aisle, the gathering of family and friends...
Except something occurs to me.
This is really special.
Instead of being starry-eyed, youngsters in love,
They know what to expect.
They know what sickness and health means...they've been sick and healthy.
They know what richer and poorer means...been there, done that too.
They know what for better or worse is...in 15 years, there's plenty of worse...and plenty of better.
Fifteen years ago, they took those vows all starry-eyed and ignorant.
Like we all do.
But now they've repeated them knowing full well what each word means.
They know the gravity of the promise...
What the cost will be...
And they did it.
Again.
In front of God and all these witnesses...
And they pulled that knot tighter.
And we watched and celebrated as if it were the first time!

Weddings...

The wedding planning is in full swing now!
Have I mentioned that my daughter is getting married?
She is!
OH happy day!
Interestingly enough, she is getting married on our 29th Anniversary.
It was a funny coincidence...not planned...just happened that the venue she chose was only available on that particular day during the time they wanted.
There are so many details involved in wedding planning today.
So many choices to make!
I've been thinking about when I planned my wedding...29 years ago...
I only had a handful of choices to make and the number of things to choose from in each category were very limited!
For instance.
I did not go to a bridal salon and try on lots of dresses.
I went to a fabric store and looked through pattern books.
I chose my bridesmaid dresses the exact same way.
I did not have cake tastings with lists of flavors and fillings.
I chose white cake with white frosting (a wedding cake, duh!) and then I chose the color of the frosting roses on top!
I went to Hallmark and chose my invitations from a pool of about 25 styles.
I had to choose the kind of punch to be served at the cake and punch reception at the church.
No alcohol.  No choice.  Period.
Did I want mints and nuts at the reception?  Yes.  Done.
I chose two soloists and the songs they would sing.
The flowers were pretty standard...we chose colors and the florist recommended types of flowers.
We went with the thriftier choices.
I loved my wedding!
I got married before reality TV and Pinterest.  I was blissfully unaware that my wedding could have been a statement of my style and a representation of our personalities.
I was 19-years-old.
I don't think I even knew what my style was at that age...
To me, our wedding was a ceremony...a celebration of having found the one that my soul loves!
It was a reason to eat cake.
Then we got the heck outta there and started our life together!

I'm enjoying the modern process of wedding planning.
It's fun to do some of the steps ourselves...to be creative...
I'm enjoying helping my daughter express their style in the invitations and decor.
It's SO FUN to pin wedding ideas on Pinterest!
It will be a lovely wedding.
It will be a lovely wedding because the people getting married are loved.  They are made for each other.  They are chosen for each other by God.
In the end, it doesn't matter what decor is on the tables or how the invitations look or how beautiful her dress is (and it is very beautiful!).
What matters is that two people will be starting their life together, speaking vows before God and their family...they will carry on the legacies of each family and begin their own legacy for their children and grandchildren.
That is the stuff of life.
Flowers will die...lace will yellow...cake gets stale...
Love lives on for generations...

The Upside of Emptiness...

Our nest is empty.

I'm cool with it.

No, I really am.  I think it's good because the kids are all doing very well...being successful...reaching for the stars and dreaming big dreams...they're good...it's good.

There are several things I really like so far...they are as follows in no particular order:

1.  Less laundry.  If you're one of those people who love to do laundry, you won't appreciate this, but since I have never finished the laundry in one day, nor put it away the same day it was folded, this is one of my favorite empty nest benefits!  A related benefit is the ability to run half-naked to the dryer to find that pair of jeans I haven't pulled out of the dryer and folded yet...without fear of the kids seeing the stretch marks they so generously donated to my physique.

2.  Fewer dishes to wash.  I run the dishwasher every other day....every. other. day.  Let that sink in. (pun intended)

3.  Cleanliness.  The only messes that are made are mine or my husband's...which was eye opening.  Seems I'm messier than I thought.  BUT, I don't mind cleaning up the messes we own.  Also, as the years have passed, I have learned to care less and less what people think when they drop by unexpectedly and see my house in it's messiest form...it no longer bothers me and I haven't shimmied around trying to distract the wandering eyes of a visitor for quite some time.  Go ahead, look around...I'm willing to bet we have a similar number of dust bunnies...yours may be more creatively hidden...

4.  Freedom.  Do we want to go to the movies?  Sure, why not?  No one has a game or a concert or a meet to go to.  No one has to be driven to this or that practice.  What about a little trip?  Dinner?  What dinner?  I'm not cooking dinner!

5.  Food in the pantry.  It's amazing.  When I go to the store, I put the food in the pantry.  The food is still in the pantry the next morning!!!  I had no idea some items had such a long shelf life!  Now if I can only train myself to buy for two people instead of 5...

6.  I'm married!  I knew it!  He's been here the whole time!  It's true that when you have kids your whole life changes.  For 23 years I was in kid-raising mode...my husband and I tried to keep our marriage front and center, but life is a roller coaster and sometimes, honestly, we'd get a little nauseated.  We muddled through and raised our children and now we are alone with each other again.  Marriage is like a sandwich, lots of fun interesting stuff sandwiched between what holds it all together...bread...er...two people who love each other...and it's nice to get to enjoy him without so much distraction again!

7.  Money.  Even with one kid still in college, there's more money in the bank.  Less mouths to feed and fewer people forgetting to turn off lights does wonders for the budget. (another eye opener, I leave a lot of lights on...working on that!)   

8.  Appreciation.  When kids move away, they appreciate the things you used to do for them...the meals you cooked...the family fun...the immediate support in life's many situations.  When the parents are left, they appreciate the little things about their kids' every day presence...the hugs, the talks, the the constant whirl of activity, sarcastic comments, missing curfews, dishes and wrappers all over the house.....wait a minute....yeah, I really do miss those hugs!

The empty nest is a keeper.  I'm sure I'll add to this list as time goes by and we settle in and adapt fully to this new phase.  I encourage everyone to embrace it...to shed a few tears as the door hits those precious offspring in the bum on the way out and then dry those tears and enjoy the wide open spaces of the empty nest!