|If you're fashion impaired and you know it hug a zucchini!|
The day began with an exchange between my husband and I about what he was wearing.
We don't know what we're talking about when it comes to fashion
Plain and simple.
The conversation went down something like this:
Alex: "Heth, does this color go with this shirt?" Me: "No" Alex: "This?" Me: "That's better, but..." Alex: "How about this, I like this"
Me: "I don't know"
Alex: "I'm wearing it"
Me: "Are you meeting with anyone important today?"
Alex: "Wait, I don't think this looks right"
Me: *sigh of relief* "Change the shirt, that's the issue."
Alex: "Yes, That's much better"
I really don't know if the shirt was indeed the issue or if the pants were the issue.
Surely there is SOMETHING that can be worn with that shirt...right? He's worn it before...
The ironic thing about that morning was that I was preparing to go with my 73-year-old mother to Portland, Oregon to shop..for clothes.
(the reason we shop in Portland is because there's no tax in Oregon, so we save almost 9% right off the top after spending $40 on a tank of gas...I know, I know)
My mother and I were shopping for clothes for our trip to Europe.
One must dress appropriately in Europe as I understood it...
I didn't actually know because I'd never been there at that time.
But I needed boots.
I don't know how to wear boots or what to wear them with, but we were going in winter, so boots were important.
And a necklace because, don't laugh, I didn't know how to wear necklaces.
"Put them around your neck" I'd been told
But it's not that simple if you're fashion impaired.
I'd put them on and they looked all wrong.
Just wrong, I can't explain it.
The wrong length, the wrong size, the wrong metal color...you name it. It was that kind of wrong.
So we went.
And knock me down with a feather,
I bought all kinds of cute things and tall boots that zip up and have a cute buckle thing,
and a necklace and earrings and sweaters and pants...
Because my 73-year-old mother helped me.
Which, honestly, worried me.
Will I look like a page out of the polyester section of the old Sears catalog?
Had I lost all sense of age appropriate sportswear?
Wait, did I just use the word "sportswear"?
Had I, in fact, turned into my mother?
And did I mention that as I was picking out a sweater and mulling over colors she told me that I don't look good in red...as I stood there staring at her in my red jacket...
I argued with her then...
"What are you saying? I'm wearing red, I look good in this!"
"Well, not really"
"Seriously? You're telling me this now? You let me leave the house in a coat that looked awful on me?"
Note to self...tell someone they're wearing a bad color BEFORE they leave the house to go out...
There are worse things to be I suppose...
Fashion impaired is a pretty benign condition in the grand scope of possibilities...
I could be my husband... asking ME for fashion advise...
p.s. - This was written a couple of years ago and while I still consider myself fashion impaired, I have made great advances in my quest to lose the title. I have been studying fashion pins on Pinterest...and by studying, I mean, looking at outfits and marveling at the beauty of the choices...the harmony of color and style. And I have to say, I love good fashion...I'm always impressed when people can just DO it, put great looks together and not think twice about it. I am getting better at it...I really am...and getting dressed is becoming a joy, rather than a really bad guessing game!