Thursday, July 10, 2014

Gladys is a rooster...?

Five of my old hens just left my coop for a "retirement home"...
It has a "don't ask, don't tell" policy.
I appreciate that.
I picture them free-ranging in a meadow filled with leafy weeds, bugs and worms...
I have a good imagination...don't ruin it for me...
So that leaves me with three confused hens...
Two black australorpes named Aretha and named because they are very, very vocal...
And a barred rock named Flo.
The pecking order has been turned on its head.
Who's in charge here?
The first morning after the others' departure, there was some loud discussion in the coop.
A few odd low squawks caused me to run outside to see if a critter had managed to invade the coop.
No, just Gladys...being a louder version of herself.
The others answered with higher pitched cackles.
This went on for about an hour.
I wonder what they were saying...
Chickens are notoriously stupid...dumb...embarrassingly dense...
I know they weren't having an intelligent discussion.
On day two, I heard something very curious.
A very odd crowing.
It sounded like an orangoutang with emphysema coughing up a hairball....yes, exactly like that.
I looked outside.
There was Gladys...neck extended...
Pretending to be a rooster.
"Cough-a-crap-a-dohhhhhhhh" (very gravelly)
Does she really THINK she's a rooster or is she trying to fool the others?
Is THIS how she's going to gain her status at the top of the pecking order?
What must the others think?
Knowing hens, like I do, here's what they're thinking...
"Oh, Gladys is a rooster now, ok, we'll follow you."
Stupid hens.
She continued to crow for quite some time.
I was beginning to worry that the neighbors would think I added a rooster with a large frog in it's throat to the flock.
I had promised NOT to have a rooster...NOW WHAT?
What does one do when a hen decides to pretend to be a rooster?
Who will believe me if I tell them it's a hen?
Here's the worst part.
She's not laying.
In my coop you pull your weight or you're sent to "shady acres".
They all seemed to have forgotten that little detail.
It's quieter out there today...
One egg so far...
They must be adjusting to their new, smaller group.
I'll bet Gladys is in charge.
(I have to hand it to her...genius move...)
They all seem to be happy...henny (as opposed to roostery)...dumber than ever.
And all is right in the coop...

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