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| If you're fashion impaired and you know it hug a zucchini! |
The day began
with an exchange between my husband and I about what he was wearing.
We don't know
what we're talking about when it comes to fashion
Plain and
simple.
The
conversation went down something like this:
Alex:
"Heth, does this color go with this shirt?"
Me: "No"
Alex:
"This?"
Me: "That's better, but..."
Alex:
"How about this, I like this"
Me:
"I don't know"
Alex:
"I'm wearing it"
Me:
"Are you meeting with anyone important today?"
Alex:
"No"
Me:
"Good"
Alex:
"Wait, I don't think this looks right"
Me:
*sigh of relief* "Change the shirt, that's the issue."
Alex:
"Yes, That's much better"
I really don't
know if the shirt was indeed the issue or if the pants were the issue.
Surely there
is SOMETHING that can be worn with that shirt...right? He's
worn it before...
The ironic
thing about that morning was that I was preparing to go with my 73-year-old
mother to Portland, Oregon to shop..for clothes.
(the reason we
shop in Portland is because there's no tax in Oregon, so we save almost 9%
right off the top after spending $40 on a tank of gas...I know, I know)
My mother and
I were shopping for clothes for our trip to Europe.
One must dress
appropriately in Europe as I understood it...
I didn't
actually know because I'd never been there at that time.
But I needed
boots.
I don't know
how to wear boots or what to wear them with, but we were going in winter, so
boots were important.
And pants.
And sweaters.
And a necklace
because, don't laugh, I didn't know how to wear necklaces.
"Put them
around your neck" I'd been told
But it's not
that simple if you're fashion impaired.
Trust me.
I'd put them
on and they looked all wrong.
Just wrong, I
can't explain it.
The wrong
length, the wrong size, the wrong metal color...you name it. It was that
kind of wrong.
So we went.
And knock me
down with a feather,
I bought all
kinds of cute things and tall boots that zip up and have a cute buckle thing,
and a necklace
and earrings and sweaters and pants...
Because my
73-year-old mother helped me.
Which,
honestly, worried me.
Will I look
like a page out of the polyester section of the old Sears catalog?
Had I lost all
sense of age appropriate sportswear?
Wait, did I
just use the word "sportswear"?
Had I, in
fact, turned into my mother?
And did I
mention that as I was picking out a sweater and mulling over colors she told me
that I don't look good in red...as I stood there staring at her in my red
jacket...
I argued with
her then...
"What are
you saying? I'm wearing red, I look good in this!"
"Well,
not really"
"Seriously?
You're telling me this now? You let me leave the house in a coat
that looked awful on me?"
"..."
wow mom.
Note to
self...tell someone they're wearing a bad color BEFORE they leave the house to
go out...
*sigh*
There are
worse things to be I suppose...
Fashion
impaired is a pretty benign condition in the grand scope of possibilities...
I could be my
husband... asking ME for fashion advise...
ha!
p.s. - This was
written a couple of years ago and while I still consider myself fashion
impaired, I have made great advances in my quest to lose the title. I
have been studying fashion pins on Pinterest...and by studying, I mean, looking
at outfits and marveling at the beauty of the choices...the harmony of color
and style. And I have to say, I love good fashion...I'm always impressed when
people can just DO it, put great looks together and not think twice about it.
I am getting better at it...I really am...and getting dressed is becoming
a joy, rather than a really bad guessing game!
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