Remember when you were a teenager and you mom would sigh and say "Just wait until you have teenagers...you'll understand!" Well...gee...mom was right! I have actually had it pretty easy up until about a month ago when my teenagers started acting their age! They are twins...17 years old...both of them late bloomers. I always knew it would happen...the hormones and indignant behavior would kick in and I would become the stupidest person on the face of the earth. But, even though I completely expected it and waited for it to come, it hasn't been an easy thing to accept. I actually was entertaining the thought that maybe, by some strange twist of fate and some divine blessing from God, that I would get to have dream kids that would look up to me and my infinite wisdom and remain lovingly devoted to their mother and skip the whole know-it-all stage. Nope...no such luck! So...today was an especially exhausting day...for no other reason than I'm realizing that the dream has died. I'm deflated. My kids are normal. They're not dream kids. I'm not supermom....well, not to them, anyway! I know I'm doing my best and, with the smallest amount of therapy, they should be just fine! But here's what I'm grasping...my kids ARE normal...this is normal. This stage in life is necessary. If they were sweet forever I wouldn't want them to leave for college...I really, really want them to leave for college now! I want them to experience poverty (the kind you can be rescued from -the top ramen until the next paycheck kind) and having to work at a job you hate until you can find one you love (ok, they're experiencing that right now) and the stresses of doing for yourself (ie: laundry, cooking, cleaning, buying groceries, holding down a job, paying the bills, etc). They do a lot for themselves, but not all at once! It's good stuff...makes you appreciate all you've been given...all you work for...what is to come... So...I'm excited for them...frustrated with them...unsure what is ahead for them...but I'm going to love them through it all! Being a mom is the most exhausting job and then you get to say..."Just wait until you have teenagers...then you'll understand!" and you KNOW - even though they're thinking "Yeah, right, when I have teenagers I'll be a cool mom/dad" - YOU are right - they are wrong - they'll be lame parents, just like you are! Yesssssssssss!
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Why does the mess get bigger as we try to clean it up? For the last 3 days I have been trying to dig out my crafting stuff. More like CLEAR OUT! I need to downsize in the worst way! So, as I've worked on it, I have piles of CRAP everywhere. Add to that, my daughter is painting her room and her stuff lines the hallway (my "office" is in a loft along our upstairs hallway). So, I have piles of stuff everywhere and so does she! She has one more coat to go (RED) and her stuff will disappear - or it will end up on the front lawn! Maybe I should move to the front lawn! There is lots of room out there...it's sunny and warm and there's lots of natural light! hmmmm... Then there's the issue of dew. (I went off on a tangent there...don't worry, that's normal)
I envy people who clean up after themselves. Who naturally think to do that. I don't know what I think, but it never occurs to me that I should do that. I create wonderful things...I'm proud of myself and I go to bed. I sleep soundly thinking of all that I accomplished and wake up to all of my glorious creative remnants lying about inspiring me once again. Mess? What's that? Then on the rare occasion that I absolutely can't find what I'm looking for (I can spot anything in a messy pile!), I get frustrated with myself...and wish I could be neater. This is my husband's and my biggest fight. Mess. He's a bit of a neat freak. (don't deny it...don't! I mean it!...stop it, you know you are!)
Here's another question...
Why do opposites attract? Is it God's way of entertaining himself while he watches us drive each other completely insane? It's got to be somewhat entertaining. I know there is a balancing thing...we fill in the gaps for each other...I help Alex let go of some of his angst about mess and he helps me not let the house turn into a trash heap. But it's finding the happy medium that's such a trick. I will find a way to make that happen...a happy medium...a magic formula... and write it down in a little booklet and sell it on Etsy. I will make a million. Check my site often and stay tuned...but don't hold your breath!
Back to my messes...they ARE getting smaller...they ARE, they ARE, they ARE!